Concentration and Anger

I have tried for a long time to figure out why sometimes I simply explode. Why I go from content to Get-out-of-my-way-or-die type of angry in only an instant. And I think I've figured it out.
For the longest time I thought it was the result of bottled up emotions all released at once. But I don't bottle up emotions, and I knew that, but it was the only explanation that I could find. So I stuck with it.
Today though, I have another idea. I noticed a common thread. I usually get angry when I am focused on something and then am torn away from it to do something else - especially a mundane task like house work. I don't mind housework. I actually enjoy it if I have the right music to go along with it. But for some reason when I am taken from strict concentration to something mundane, of which things housework is the most common example, I snap. And it seems to me that the reason why is because it takes so much effort to concentrate that when I actually get it my brain is like, "Ahh! I've focused! Okay, I have this module to do, and that essay to write, and this other thing, and I only have until I run out of focus. I had better hurry." And then all of a sudden 5 minutes into my work somebody calls my name. Or somebody else starts making lots of noise. And I am instantly furious with them. Something like,
"HOW DARE YOU DESTROY MY FOCUS! IT WAS A WORK OF ART! SOMETHING THAT TOOK WHAT FELT LIKE YEARS TO CREATE! DIE DIE DIE."
^^^ Something like that.
And then I feel so bad, because I usually do things that I normally wouldn't when I am angry. I say things I wouldn't normally say. And I hurt other people.
And so I try to fix this problem within myself. Because that's what I do. I fix myself. All the time. And in the process, I think I have become hesitant to even try to concentrate, because if I do and someone bothers me, I might hurt them. And I don't like hurting people. It hurts me. 
But I think I've got the problem figured out now. Unless there's another part I don't understand yet. So anyways. Thanks for being interested enough in me to read that. Haha. :D

Have a wonderful day. :)

Staring at the Keys

I stare at the keys. And my fingers itch to play. Something deep inside of me remembers how. But I can't spit it out. The music doesn't flow through my fingers like a cool stream runs along a river bank on a warm summer day as it used to. Like I remember it did. And like walking through a now dead but once vibrant garden, or seeing a once great but now broken friendship makes a person feel, I feel solemn as I continue to stare. I remember the bits of Les Miserables that I used to play. I remember the silly songs I used to make up. And in my head I can see the notes. But they are muddled now. Like I put on a pair of someone else's glasses. Like I'm staring at another language.
Oh my friends. Remember to make good use of your life. Don't waste yours as I have wasted mine. Not to say that my entire life is wasted, but I certainly haven't made good use of it. Or at least as good of use of it as I could have.
Do you know how many YouTube videos I've watched to date?
9,713
And that's just the ones I've watched on my account.
According to this site, the average YouTube video is 3 minutes and 53 seconds long.
Let's do a conservative estimate. Let's say that the average length of the YouTube videos that I have watched is 3.5 minutes. Just going off of the videos that I have viewed on my account to date, that equates to 33,995.5 minutes spent watching YouTube videos. That's 566 and a half hours. 23 and a half days worth of YouTube videos. And that's a conservative estimate.
That doesn't include movies I've watched. Videos watched on Vimeo. Videos I've watched on Facebook. Time spent on YouTube while not logged into my account. Replays of videos. Time spent looking for videos.
It doesn't include the hours and hours I spent playing Pokemon on my Gameboy when I was younger. It doesn't include the time on the GameCube. It doesn't include the time on the Play Station. The Xbox.
It doesn't include time still spent on Facebook, and Google+.
I am not saying that all forms of media and entertainment are bad. But there are better things to do.
Let's put this in perspective.
I work at my family's feed store for 6 dollars an hour, unless I'm working for commission. If I had spent just the time that I have spent on my account on YouTube at work, I would be 3,399 dollars richer. That's just at 6 dollars an hour, which is less than most people make by far.
I read books on average at about 12 hours per book. If I had spent all that time reading, I would be 47 books wiser than I am today.
It takes me about three hours to learn a new piano song. If I had spent all that time working on the piano, I would be 188 songs better.
I can practice one wrestling move about 120 times in an hour. If I had spent all that time practicing wrestling, I'd be 67,980 repetitions closer to perfection.
And a new friend... I can make one of those in less than a minute. That's 33,995 potential friends not made.
Those things just mentioned, they are worthy and noble causes. Causes in which I have spent much of my life. But not as much as I could have. Certainly not as much as I should have.
And what do I have to show for all the time I've spent watching YouTube videos? A whole bunch of things to make small talk about?
Pretty much.

Next time you look back at your life, your week, your day, or even your hour, and wonder what you have done with your time, think about this.
Remember this post.
Remember what you have the potential to do, and to be.
And then go do it.
Go be it.

I can't promise in this post that I will never watch another YouTube video.
I can't promise that I will never waste another second of my life.
But I can promise that I will sincerely try.
Will you make the same promise?

And So the World is Changed Forever

It started with this video.

And continued with this one.

And now we're here.

The world is changing, my friends.

It is not the same tomorrow as it was today.

Tomorrow, you might print a working gun in your home with a plan from off the internet.

Next week you might print furniture.

By next year you may be printing food.

You might even print yourself a new printer.

And why not? You may as well. No one is going to stop you.

The future is filled with endless possibilities, my friend. And you are one of them.
Remember that.

School (AKA Life Eater, Soul Crusher, Stem of All Dull Things, etc.)

I am so tired of school. So very, very tired.
I just don't understand. I really want to like school. I've tried to make it interesting, but it just isn't. I don't like it. I don't get fulfillment out of it. I need to do something with my hands.
I need to live.
But I don't feel like I'm living when I'm sitting at this computer trying to figure out how to like something that I really don't. And I need to feel like I'm alive. Because if I don't, life seems pretty pointless. Like right now.
I even went out and cleaned out the chicken coop today. Not because I really wanted to. But it was more fulfilling than school.
I only want to understand how to like school. How to embrace it. Because trust me, I will. Show me that answer to making Earth Science and Mind and Body Stewardship fulfilling, and I'll do it all day.
I just don't feel like I'm doing what God wants me to do while I'm sitting here basically doing nothing. And while the fact that I'm sitting here doing nothing is not the schoolwork's fault, I just can't find it in me to go do the school work. It's that depressing to me. And schoolwork isn't a bad thing. I just don't think it's the best thing I could be doing. I don't see how forcing myself to learn things that will never apply to my life are going to bring me joy.
I dunno. Really this is a pointless post. You may stop reading now if you wish. Just remember that your friend Dallin could use advise if you have any regarding making school fulfilling. :-P
Just go do something awesome today and come back and tell me about it, okay?
Thank you. :)

Women In the Priesthood

I was thinking about women in the LDS church desiring to have to priesthood today, a rather funny thought came into my head.
Who in the world are these women? What are they, bored? Seriously. Maybe they need to have another child to keep busy or something to give these poor, boring people something to do. ;) I know my Mom would tell you straight up that she's too busy for the priesthood.
Really though. It's silly. If you're not busy, make yourself that way.
It seems to me that if they have enough time on their hands to ask for the Men's responsibility as well as their own, clearly they're not fulfilling their own obligations.
Just my two cents. Carry on. :)

In their quest for the impossible answers to the impossible questions, many people are perceived to be wasting their lives. But in that moment when one catches the impossible, the world is forever changed.
Don't ever stop chasing the impossible.

A Nation of Sissies

One of the huge problems in America today is that we are a culture of sissies. The majority of America doesn't man up and take care of their own problems. No... Like a spoiled child to it's parent, the majority in America appeals to the government when anything goes wrong. We are a sue-happy, spoiled, sissy society and it makes my blood boil. What has happened to your courage, America? Where is your pride? Do you have no shame? Do you not care that the person that you are suing for an amount of money large enough to fill the national treasury's coffers will lose everything that they have because of you? Have you no pity for your fellow man, or patience for their mistakes? You make a big deal of the starving in Africa, and yet starve your fellow countryman!
Excuse my language, but where are your balls?! Did you drop them somewhere on the way home from the prostitute's house? Do you not have enough manliness in you to deal with your problems on your own? What makes you think that you are entitled to take everything another person has simply because they offended you? Seriously. Get over it. Be a man.

^^^ That up there, it's the truth. Go look around on the internet. You'll find plenty of stories about sue-happy people that are pretty well off because of this or that minor mistake by someone else. And it goes beyond suing other people. It's just called common decency. If someone gives you the wrong drink at a restaurant, kindly point it out to the waiter. Don't sue them. If you have to learn the Mexican national anthem and pledge in Spanish class, suck it up. It's not going to hurt you, you're not going to die.

Just... Just be human, okay? You don't have to be perfect. Just deal with your own problems. Don't ask the government to deal with them for you. Be a man.

Happiness

I think that happiness is not the opposite of sadness, but the opposite of pain.
And the more I live, the more I realize that the way to enlarge one's capabilities for happiness is to go through pain.
Not that pain is what brings happiness, because it certainly doesn't. But it seems to me that pain shows one how bad things can be, and thus how good things are when one is not in pain.
The way to pain is in hard and difficult things. Because pain is simply a physical manifestation of the idea that things can be difficult. And whether the pain in one's life is self imposed or not, it doesn't matter. It shows one how bad things can be. So really, pain is simply enlightenment.
One can be the most enlightened person in the world though and still not be happy. Because happiness requires action. It requires conscious effort. It seems to me that when Henry Ford said, "The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can't are both right." he was absolutely correct. Happiness is not an item. It's not an external force. It's not a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a motorcycle or a nice home. It's a very internal state of being. So thus, if you think you can be happy, no matter your situation in life, you're right. If you don't think you can be happy, you're correct as well.
So go live life. Do hard things. They will hurt you, I promise. But you will live.
Above all, remember this.

“Happiness is a state of mind, a choice, a way of living; it is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experienced.” -Steve Maraboli 

According to Scientists...

Do you know what bothers me?
The phrase, "According to scientists..."
It's so widely believed. Like... You can put anything behind it and stick it in a textbook and someone will believe it. I mean, you could say,
"According to scientists, Joe Biden is an idiot."
And while that may be true, just because it starts with "According to scientists" it will be believed to be true by most who read it, even if it isn't. Where has the people's desire for truth gone? Why are we content to dumbly listen and never question? Give me your sources! Let me figure it out for myself! I say that they man who doesn't provide sources is a coward, because that means he's afraid someone will contradict his work and find a better answer than he has. Now, I'm not perfect. There are plenty of posts that I have posted in the past that ought to have sources and don't. Well, get over it. I'm 16 years old. I'm still trying to figure this whole blogging thing out.
So anyways, I'll have sources on work that requires sources from now on. Be sure to correct me if I forget.
But I really can't stress how important sources are. In a post of his on his blog, one of my mentors by the name of Ben Brown discussed what is called the Sleeper Effect. Here's how he explained it.

"Here’s the breakdown: what we learn (the content) and where we learn it from (the sources) are controlled by different circuitry systems in the brain. The system for sources is more short term by default where the system for content is more long term. When we initially hear something from a low quality source, we will tend to be skeptical of the message because we know then that the source isn’t to be trusted. Enter the sleeper effect. We forget the source before we forget the content, so over time, a provocative message from a poor source will become more persuasive."
http://basicallyben.tumblr.com/post/73273942622/how-to-protect-your-brain-from-the-sleeper-effect 

Don't fall asleep, my friends. Stay awake, and go find the truth.

God be with you,
Dallin

Possible Free Energy

So this guy right here claims to have created a nuclear fusion reactor at his home that produces more energy than is put into it. Thus free energy. Awesome. :D Even if he hasn't actually done it, it's still cool. :)

Just a thought, could this be the way to power space ships to the ends of the galaxy and beyond? I mean, it seems that one of the major challenges of getting a spaceship really far out there would be fuel, but if there is an energy source on the ship that can produce unlimited energy to drive the ship... Well, that's just plain awesome. Haha. :)
The thing that makes this all so much cooler is that this is just a guy living his dream and inventing just for the love of inventing. Kudos to him. Maybe there's something we can learn from how he lives.

When The Going Gets Tough

I have... So many conflicting feelings going into this post.
If you've followed this blog since the beginning, you remember this post. It was the post I wrote after I lost state last year. The one where I decided to quit feeling down about losing state and start doing something about it. Well, I did it again. I lost state. In the finals.
Gah. I don't know what to say, besides that it hurt. I hurt. I went into state seeded #2, and any of the top 4 guys were good enough to win it, so I was just happy to make it to the finals. I told myself and everyone around me that I was just happy to be in the finals. I told them that I didn't think I would be too upset if I lost.
And then I stepped out onto the mat for that match.
It's hard to describe what it looks like to wrestle in front of a crowd like this in an arena this big.

But once I stepped out onto the mat, I realized how much I wanted to win. I remembered how hard I worked for it. I thought of what standing on the top of the podium would be like.
So I put my heart into it, and I went at him.
In the end, he didn't outwork me. Not even close. He wrestled like the coward that he is.
But he did win.
After the match I shook his hand like a man. Because I am a man. I walked off the mat like a man. I talked to my coaches for a minute, and then I went off alone. And then I cried and cried. I cried and prayed until I didn't have any tears left to cry, through they would have flown freely had there been any left. And as I was praying I said to God, "God, You'd better make me quite the man, because You've made my life pretty hard and You don't give easy things to great men. I know that. So Lord, please help me to be the man You want me to be. Please make this worth it."
I believe that prayer has been and will continue to be answered.
Now, you might wonder where the conflicting feelings that I mentioned come into play here. The feelings mentioned so far are all pretty sad. They're not easy feelings to deal with.
Then we won state as a team.
Gah. It's so hard to smile and be happy with the team when you've just lost an individual state title. But it's hard not to smile when you see your brothers filled with so much joy.
So there I am. Right in the middle of my brothers in my black warm up jacket. Trying to smile while holding the state trophy with the other state finalist from our team. He's a stud.

Even after being with my team to accept the state title though, I still couldn't be happy. It was too hard.
But I was trying, I really was.
So after all of this, we had a 5 hour bus ride home. The guys in the back were partying. I was doing my best to kill my feelings. I couldn't deal with them yet. Not yet. And then we stopped at Ihop for dinner.
**Sigh** Something about good food in good company will lift even the lowest spirits.
By the time we left Ihop, my spirits were pretty high. My spirits still weren't high enough to go party with the guys in the back though. But there was a freshman, bless his heart, that sat up in the seat next to me and talked with me for 4 straight hours on that bus. What a man. Instead of spending the entire bus ride home partying with the other guys, he talked to me. And he listened to me as I poured out the agony of my soul.
And then when I was done and we both were silent, he showed me this picture.

xD
That picture right there made my day. :D Oh goodness. I laughed so hard. He and I laughed until we couldn't breathe. This freshman's a great kid. One of the best I know, and that's saying something. I know some great people. God bless him.
So anyways, we got home. I cried myself to sleep. Went to church the next day, (Yesterday) and didn't cry. Was proud of myself for being at least somewhat pleasant to everybody around me.
Well, now that I've had a day to recover, it's time to focus once again, and use my loss to drive me.
So practice for state in 2015 started this morning at 5:30.
Yup. The Monday after state.
I do not want to lose it again.
As they always say,
"When the going gets tough, punch the going in the face and determine your own future."
Actually, nobody says that. Except me. And I made it up just now. Haha. :)
Have a great day, my friends. :)