Focus and the Advantage of Necessity

Every disadvantage comes with a hidden advantage, and it's up to each man whether he will wallow in his disadvantage or find strength in the advantage that he has. Wallowing is not worth it because the hidden advantage is always there; the unconquered man will take it.

A disadvantage that I have is that I consistently have a hard time focusing on tasks and goals. This is especially apparent in my schooling, where I often allow thoughts and ideas unrelated to my studies to distract me from the homework at hand. The advantages, however, are enormous.
This tenancy to get distracted easily allows me to make connections between seemingly unrelated points that more focused people have a hard time making. It helps me to learn and experiment with new ideas and concepts, and I love that. Today I realized that lately it's given me another advantage: the advantage of necessity.
The advantage of necessity is the superhuman advantage given to a person when they have no choice but to perform or to fail. It's the same advantage that opens the mind of every student who has 2 hours to write a procrastinated paper, and allows indebted people to work two full time jobs to pay the bills.
In my case, the advantage of necessity operates in this way: I want to do well in my classes, and between school, work and Alyssa, I have a heavy load. I can choose to not focus and still get all of those things done, but I pay for it in lack of sleep, and lack of sleep over time makes my struggle to focus into a virtual inability to focus. Thus, sleep is essential. To get sleep, I must manage my time well. To manage my time well, I have to be able to trust myself that I'm going to do what I said I was going to do when I said I was going to do it. Thus, I have to focus. The need for sleep has finally become a need to focus, and now I have an advantage.
Focus is a struggle and a trial for me, but I'm thankful for the advantage that lies behind it. I will not be conquered by this.

Trust and the Cost of Peace

I yearn for the trials that will bring me to trust God with all of my heart, might, mind and strength. I think that somehow, if I could learn that, I could finally find peace.
What, then, is the cost of peace? Wilt Thou charge me it, Lord?

A Non-Married Man's Ideals Regarding Marriage

There is a certain ideal that I am determined to live as a married man. It is this:

To my darling wife,

If you suffer, I will suffer with you.
If you make a mistake, I will take responsibility for it with you.
If you are persecuted, I will put myself with you to be persecuted with you.
If you have a dream, I will chase it with you.
If you rejoice, I will rejoice with you.
I will not blame you nor will I speak poorly of you to other people.
I will not ignore you nor will I treat you as a lesser than I.
I will not belittle you, nor will I force you to do my will.
In short, I will love you as very best as I can, and I will be with you.

My limitations are human, and I'll have to ask you to suffer me as I make my own mistakes as well, but my love I will try to be the kind of man who is always true to God and because of faithfulness to Him I will be faithful to you. You must understand that He's the one who taught me to love other people and be with them, and I've been an imperfect student, but I am learning. You and He and I, together we will make a team, and we will run this race together.
In the end, it will have been better that, whichever paths we take, we take them together. Let's make it happen that way.

I love you, dearest.
-Dallin

Talking About Homosexuality

There is something wrong about the way in which we talk about homosexuality. We talk about "being" gay, and I fear that this is not an accurate description of reality so much as it is a linguistic tool of the Devil designed to confuse the children of God about who they are.
Men and women are children of God, and that's the best way to define them as a whole. Who they are and what they have are two very different things.
For example, a man may be a child of God and yet have temptations to become angry with other people. Such anger is not part of the being of such a man, but rather a poor choice that he makes on occasion. We may refer to him as an angry man, but our words cannot make anger part of his identity any more than our words can darken the sun; he is simply a child of God regardless of his human temptations.
The same may be said of people who struggle with homosexual temptations. No man is gay nor is any woman lesbian, but rather they are children of God who have sexual temptations towards people of their same gender, and if we would talk about their struggle less as a problem of identity and more as an overcomable temptation then perhaps fewer people would feel isolated and alone when such temptations arise; perhaps more people would be able to find help to overcome the temptation.
Let us consider the odd assumption it is to define a person's being by the temptations which they receive. In doing so, we allow not their Creator to define them, but the Devil who wishes to destroy them, for God gave them no such temptations and defined them in no such way. Any definition of a human being which does not come from God is prone to be a lie, for Satan is a liar, but God is not. Thus, humans ought to be defined with God's terms, and not the Devil's.
As we speak of such cases in the future, let us speak of humans who have a temptation, but not humans who are by definition in contrary to the law of their Creator, for He created no such person. Let us not fall into Lucifer's trap of defining people by their temptations, but rather let us glean their identity from the One who gave it to them. From this Giver, and only from Him, will we finally know the truth of the matter, and the truth will set us all free.

Writing and Transformation

I love to write because writing is the transformation of my ideas and feelings into a format that other people can read and understand. It clears my head and helps me to think. It also gives me perspective on my own problems because sometimes I can see through my writing how flawed I really am. Each time it's an experience that changes me, and I long for those moments. 

Sometimes writing even scares me because I don't know what ideas or beliefs I'll have at the end of what I write, but that's just fine because if I feel unsure about an idea I can just write more things and eventually I come to a solution.

The transformation of ideas within me changes me, and some of those who read it feel that change too. I like that a lot.

Observations of Light

I love to watch as the sunlight filters through my windows in the morning, filling the empty darkness with soft, clear light. Have you ever sat in the place where the light lands when it streaks through the window and observed it as it enters? If you sit and watch for long enough, you'll begin to notice the dust particles that float like little ships on a sea of air, ships like unto shadows; only visible in the direct sunlight. Once I waved my hands violently through the sea of light and a tsunami ensued, throwing the little ships this way and that beneath the terrible winds of my hands.
Sometimes dust can look like stars too if you can catch it right, though dust produces no light of itself. It makes me think that perhaps the stars in the sky don't produce light of their own so much as they reflect the light of the Creator.

The Union - a Poem of New Beginnings

Once there was a blogger with too many blogs,

He knew not quite what to do.

For he loved each one dearly and wrote on them all,

In the heights of his visions they grew.

So one day he took them and made them all one,

He lost not a post from any.

And now all his dreams are kept in the same place,

Come check one out, there are plenty!

Change in the Church of Christ

We need not worry about changes which are made in the Church of Christ, for this Church has a history of change. Moses, for example, was given a lower law and Christ, years later, repealed that law. If God could have His way, I believe that He would only give one law to mankind, which law is, “Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, might, mind and strength”. Because of mankind’s inability to understand this one overarching law, however, God gives us lower laws to help us understand that one law better. Thus, the lower laws may be adjusted to meet the needs and understanding of the people for whom they are written. We are those people, and are members of the Restored Church of Christ, and yet we still do not understand that one important law. Therefore, we should expect change still. There will always be change until we live the law.

All Things Come to Light

It doesn't concern me very much whether the Gospel of Jesus Christ is absolutely true or not in the short term because of the fact that all truth comes to light in the lens of time. If the Gospel is false, then one day I'll know it, but until that day comes, what need have I to hastily make a change of my beliefs? There is no hurry to know the absolute truth for we are eternal beings, and we will need all eternity to learn it. If we are not eternal beings, then this little time of life is rather insignificant, isn't it? It seems improbable that a man could comprehend all truth while still in this mortal state regardless of how much he studied or thought, so it must take eternity to do.
In the New Testament, the Pharisee Gamaliel made a very strong case for the idea of truth coming to light at a trial of Peter and John in Jerusalem shortly after the resurrection of the Savior. The body of the Chief Priests desired to take the apostles' lives for preaching of Jesus Christ, and in midst of the rapture of such bloodlust Gamaliel stands and warns,

Ye men of Israel, take heed to yourselves what ye intend to do as touching these men. For before these days rose up Theudas, boasting himself to be somebody; to whom a number of men, about four hundred, joined themselves: who was slain; and all, as many as obeyed him, were scattered, and brought to nought. After this man rose up Judas of Galilee in the days of the taxing, and drew away much people after him: he also perished; and all, even as many as obeyed him, were dispersed. And now I say unto you, Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought: But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God.

It is clear from the text that Gamaliel believed this same basic principle: all truth is known in time. If Christ's doctrine was true, it would grow and be known. There are plenty of modern examples of such truth coming to light. Here's a simple one: There are people in the world who believe that because Eve was created with one of Adam's ribs, all men have one less rib than their female counterparts. For hundreds of years, this idea was taught as a doctrine and everyone believed it until someone actually counted the ribs of people and found that it wasn't true. Was it immoral for people with this understanding to believe in it? No, it wasn't! Now, however, it's a very well documented fact that the number of ribs is the same, so why would we keep believing the old idea?

I really like this idea that truth is known in time because it gives me liberty to explore, read, think, and know. Even if I do believe in something that is false, eventually it will be shown to me and I will know the truth! When I have this idea in mind, I can talk to anyone about anything and not be afraid because I know that at the end of the conversation I'll understand something that is more true and probably something that is more false. When I don't remember this principle, it becomes difficult for me to talk about things that I don't agree with because I feel uncomfortable with the new ideas. We mustn't fear new ideas, friends, we must put them on trial.
Christ said, "If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself." That is how we know: we try, and under trial all things come to be known--whether they be of darkness or of light. So what is the light that you've found, and how did you come to find it? What truths do you yet desire to know? How would your life change if you knew what you want to know, and how could you help others with it?

A Strange Species

As I sit here alone, my thoughts come in a blinding clarity of light. Could I ever be as honest to your face as I am with myself when I'm alone? Could I ever tell you to your face that I think that lots of physical contact in dating is lots of fun too, but also that I'm not comfortable with all of it and that I'd rather not get too involved in that way with you? Could I ever tell you when we're together that I feel awkward about relationships and dating and that I'm not as confident in dating as I am in other aspects of my life? Could I ever tell you that I've never had a girlfriend before and that I don't know how all of this begins or ends and what role I ought to play in it?
It's amazing how your presence changes my thoughts. What once was clear so quickly is muddled, and I find myself struggling to remember anything but how nice it is to be with you. Oh, woman. I am a strange species indeed.

Love Is

There was once a single lady with two children who worked very hard to maintain them, traveling a long distance and working long hours every day to do so. Her little family didn't have much, in fact they barely made it from one day to the next, but somehow they made it each day.
One day she was offered a job in a closer city, perhaps even a job with better pay, and as she went into the interview she spotted another woman who clearly was in dire need of a job. "We really like you, you've got the job!" said the interviewer to the lady as the interview closed. She paused for a moment and replied, "No, I think you should give it to the other woman. She'll do it just fine, and she needs it more than I do."
This lady had the power to improve her life, and the only cost would have been to say yes. She had no moral obligation to turn the job down like she did, the other woman probably could have found work elsewhere. Nevertheless, having the power to take the job she used it to bless the other woman.
That's what love is, I think.

Love is to have power and to give it away so that someone else may be blessed.